` ♚ miss mong (lolliloveee) wrote,
` ♚ miss mong

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if anyone cares...

I cannot fathom how much I hate being sick. It's such a hassle just to get up from your bed and do things. Seriously, I can barely sit here without wanting to throw up and get some sleep. But moving on, other than being ill, I think I stressed myself out way too much.

Which is probably why I get sick so much. Not because everyone around me is sick, but I stress out before I go on trips. And I'm having one of those moments. And why is this? I have to meet my friend. Or will be meeting my friend. And why is this bad? I'll be meeting him for the first time. And if you go through my posts, I have a whole post about him. He ditched me for his girlfriend. They're exes now. 

It's weird, I'm now getting close with his ex girlfriend. I'm distancing myself from him anyways. It's because I finally realized how much of a dick he was to me like everyone has been pointing out. I still really do care about him, but I'm being treated like crap. And I'm done with that. I need some time away from texting him and everything. Which is feel so freaking amazing. Because now I can start letting go of this crush. GOODBYE SIX PLUS MONTH CRUSH. HELLO SCHOOLWORK. But still Convention stresses me out.

Haha, no. Kidding aside, I'm getting better at accepting constructive criticism. I mean I don't cry over something. I still get kind of disappointed with myself when I see all the pen marks on my work. I mean, I put myself down hard, and to see a 4 out of 9 on an essay is really hard for me and it takes some time for me to take it all in, but I'm getting there. I'm excited, even though I might not get an A in that class, I'm excited to see if my writing improves. While a grade is important, improvement is too. Actually, writing getting better is the best thing for me. I don't mind. Really. Just got to work harder than the others. Be diligent, be humble, be kind, be inspiring, that's my motto. 

And I've been getting somewhat close with the boy I was talking about in the last post, Tweedledum (wait, apparently I called him Tweedledee), I mean. Yeah. I've been getting somewhat close with him. But I don't have a chance with a boy like him. Like, I'm just nice and straightforward with him, but I don't stand a chance with a boy like him.

I mean, today, I waited for him with an umbrella because it was raining. Than letting my new friend hide underneath to her bus. I feel bad, I wish I could have just given them have the cover of the umbrella and get wet myself, but I was waiting for Tweedledum. My priorities, where art thou? 

I told him I was glad he went to the school, and he said something that I couldn't catch. Dang it. Yesterday was weird too. I was actually REALLY, REALLY CONFUSED WITH HIM YESTERDAY. I mean, it's not aggravating but it's just weird. So, I'm walking to my bus, right? And I see he's in front so I try to catch up, but I give up.

And then he stops. He just stops walking. He sees me and waves. He says bye and starts walking around in a little circle and going back to the school, instead of his bus. It confuses me. I wave at him before heading to my bus, confused again. Yesterday, I was just really sick so I could have imagined it, but whatever. I guess he was just being nice. Yeah, nice. That makes sense, doesn't it? 

Boys confuse me too much. Imma stick to school work, my NEW JOB (YES, THAT'S RIGHT, I GOT A JOB. SUCKAS SUCK ON THAT. TUTORING LITTLE KIDS IS JUST MY JOB), and making others smile. I think that's all matters. Okay, thanks for reading, byeeee. 

Tags: foreveralone, gosh, i can't handle the male race, like seriously, what is wrong with me, why are my posts like this
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